The divorce process creates an emotional roller coaster for both parties, and the resulting emotional charge in each individual can influence the legal issues that arise during the separation process.
When these two individuals meet before the court, emotional justice is often a subconscious motivator behind motions and requests. However, the goal of the court is resolution using legal remedies and not emotional influences.
The emotional influence on mediation
Mediation is a way to avoid costly litigation when seeking a divorce. This process uses an impartial mediator to oversee the dialogue between the partners and settle the issues regarding the divorce. When emotions cloud the perspectives of one or both parties, very little productive dialogue ensues. Instead, the couple spends time placing blame, making accusations or deflecting responsibility. Emotions left unchecked can create a distorted view of reality, which in turn leads to unreasonable demands when trying to negotiate a divorce.
The steps for removing emotions
While not a guarantee, removing your negative emotions from the mediation process can help you more effectively address concerns with spousal or child support or the division of property. Here are a few ways to limit the influence of emotions.
- Find a counselor, coach or someone to talk to about your feelings
- Remember the big picture regarding your goals or the welfare of your children
- Allow yourself to grieve or release the emotions concerning the divorce
- Think before you speak and acknowledge the other party’s interests
- Follow the advice of legal counsel
The mediation process is more productive when parties put emotions aside. Although difficult, it is possible.